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okaywolfWritten to the prompt by Making Up Adventurers — Adventurer who says the right things the wrong way.
This is the first part of Some Guy Party! I fell so in love with some guy and their adventuring crew that I quickly wrote a second, then third and fourth, and there’s more on the way.
On top of being a fun flash fiction series about an adventuring crew, Some Guy Party is a venture in autistically playing with the English language.
You can download the first four instalments of Some Guy Party as 8-page printable zines on my itch.
Originally posted on cohost on August 16th, 2024.
Mostly carved from rock, more than any other underground settlement they had explored these particular caves had little in manmade structure. The party—few in number, not well acquainted, professional—had passed over the first two timber bridges across bottomless divides after much inspection. Here, at the third, a so-far taciturn member held out an arm to stop their procession.
“Tha’s fucked.”
Who was definitely not some kind of wizard pretending to be a simple sword-carrying adventurer, frowned at the arm barring their chest, then the person staring at them for an acknowledgement. “What?”
The rest of the party peered on as, after a snort and eyeroll, the equally ‘I guess you’re some guy with a sword’ pointed their arm away from restraining the party and to a support of the bridge. “Tha’,” they waved their finger at splintering timber, “fucked.”
After some peering at the bridge, they continued on one-by-one with safety lines.
The objective of the excursion—conditions for the party’s pay—was a complete map of the underground settlement, long abandoned and therein prone to dangers. One such danger was a rockslide that two of their party had lost footing on and, with more rope, had taken some good time to retrieve them. Resting for the evening in what had surely been a sort of communal area for meals and conversation, the definitely not a wizard pretending to be a simple sword-carrying adventurer was met again with some guy with a sword.
“Fucked m’ankle. Can ya unfuck it?”
Looking up from the last of their meal—a little smaller than originally rationed, as they had underestimated the size of the settlement—they found the same staring hold for acknowledgement. “What?”
With the rest of the party done eating now pouring over their developing map or napping, there was no audience to peer as some guy who had found themself at the the bottom of a rockslide earlier pointed at their foot. “Ankle. Fucked. Unfuck.”
Definitely not a wizard frowned at the boot they had been directed to. “I don’t imagine how you think I can go about that.”
With a laugh, some guy dropped themself to the ground next to definitely not a wizard and started to shuck off their boot. “Sure bud.”
The point of pretending to be a simple sword-carrying adventurer was to have no one else know they were definitely not a wizard. In the very least, it was polite to pretend along.
“Look, y’know I’ll make slow for us if y’don’t unfuck me.”
Definitely not a wizard, having checked the rest of the party was still mapping or napping and not at all peering, sighs shakily. “Can you not phrase it so?” they complain, setting aside their meal and avoiding the smirk on some guy’s face.
The party winds up mapping two more entrances than originally outlined and so spends much of the way back to the county governing body discussing how they will negotiate for higher pay. When someone voices the concern that negotiating for higher pay may not even be possible, some guy speaks up for the first time since leaving the caves.
“Fuck’em if they don’t.”
It takes a minute of the rest of the party peering at definitely not a wizard for definitely not a wizard to grumble, “I think they mean to indicate we can take our pay by force if need be.” They avoid the smirk on some guy’s face.
This is the first part of Some Guy Party! I fell so in love with some guy and their adventuring crew that I quickly wrote a second, then third and fourth, and there’s more on the way.
On top of being a fun flash fiction series about an adventuring crew, Some Guy Party is a venture in autistically playing with the English language.
You can download the first four instalments of Some Guy Party as 8-page printable zines on my itch.
Originally posted on cohost on August 16th, 2024.
Mostly carved from rock, more than any other underground settlement they had explored these particular caves had little in manmade structure. The party—few in number, not well acquainted, professional—had passed over the first two timber bridges across bottomless divides after much inspection. Here, at the third, a so-far taciturn member held out an arm to stop their procession.
“Tha’s fucked.”
Who was definitely not some kind of wizard pretending to be a simple sword-carrying adventurer, frowned at the arm barring their chest, then the person staring at them for an acknowledgement. “What?”
The rest of the party peered on as, after a snort and eyeroll, the equally ‘I guess you’re some guy with a sword’ pointed their arm away from restraining the party and to a support of the bridge. “Tha’,” they waved their finger at splintering timber, “fucked.”
After some peering at the bridge, they continued on one-by-one with safety lines.
~~~
The objective of the excursion—conditions for the party’s pay—was a complete map of the underground settlement, long abandoned and therein prone to dangers. One such danger was a rockslide that two of their party had lost footing on and, with more rope, had taken some good time to retrieve them. Resting for the evening in what had surely been a sort of communal area for meals and conversation, the definitely not a wizard pretending to be a simple sword-carrying adventurer was met again with some guy with a sword.
“Fucked m’ankle. Can ya unfuck it?”
Looking up from the last of their meal—a little smaller than originally rationed, as they had underestimated the size of the settlement—they found the same staring hold for acknowledgement. “What?”
With the rest of the party done eating now pouring over their developing map or napping, there was no audience to peer as some guy who had found themself at the the bottom of a rockslide earlier pointed at their foot. “Ankle. Fucked. Unfuck.”
Definitely not a wizard frowned at the boot they had been directed to. “I don’t imagine how you think I can go about that.”
With a laugh, some guy dropped themself to the ground next to definitely not a wizard and started to shuck off their boot. “Sure bud.”
The point of pretending to be a simple sword-carrying adventurer was to have no one else know they were definitely not a wizard. In the very least, it was polite to pretend along.
“Look, y’know I’ll make slow for us if y’don’t unfuck me.”
Definitely not a wizard, having checked the rest of the party was still mapping or napping and not at all peering, sighs shakily. “Can you not phrase it so?” they complain, setting aside their meal and avoiding the smirk on some guy’s face.
~~~
The party winds up mapping two more entrances than originally outlined and so spends much of the way back to the county governing body discussing how they will negotiate for higher pay. When someone voices the concern that negotiating for higher pay may not even be possible, some guy speaks up for the first time since leaving the caves.
“Fuck’em if they don’t.”
It takes a minute of the rest of the party peering at definitely not a wizard for definitely not a wizard to grumble, “I think they mean to indicate we can take our pay by force if need be.” They avoid the smirk on some guy’s face.
