![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
okaywolfWritten to the prompt by Making Up A Villain — Villain who can’t remember why they started this
Content warning: memory loss
Originally posted on cohost on May 23rd, 2024.
Not because the reason isn’t important. Not because the reason isn’t catastrophically, life-changingly, personality shiftingly important.
It is catastrophically, life-changingly, personality shiftingly important and that was what was so frustrating about not remembering. And distressing.
He’s never not in a state of distress. Part of him wonders if it’s from the personality shiftingly part, but then he remembers being distressed before. Another frustration, added to the ledger he forgets. “This isn’t even the worst part.”
In front of him is the array of helpless people who tried stopping him. One of which he swears he knows, he just can’t remember.
“The worst part, is not knowing if I’m remembering right what I don’t remember.” If over time, the things he’s told himself he’s been telling himself wrong and more wrong each time until he’s not even doing the right thing anymore. If over time, he’s deviated so far from the original intent that he’s failing or betraying the reason he’s done this.
He looks over the faces he can’t recognize and the one he swears he ought to. There’s various levels of screaming involved, but he hefts what is truly an imposing blade without any mind to the ‘no’s and the sobbing and the glare from that one. The weight is unfamiliar but weight in his hands is familiar. It almost feels right and—not remembering much most of the time—feels is all he has to work with most of the time.
So he hefts the blade and, with the force of someone so unsure but so sure, he plunges the whole of it into the solution he hopes he’s remembering right.
Content warning: memory loss
Originally posted on cohost on May 23rd, 2024.
Not because the reason isn’t important. Not because the reason isn’t catastrophically, life-changingly, personality shiftingly important.
It is catastrophically, life-changingly, personality shiftingly important and that was what was so frustrating about not remembering. And distressing.
He’s never not in a state of distress. Part of him wonders if it’s from the personality shiftingly part, but then he remembers being distressed before. Another frustration, added to the ledger he forgets. “This isn’t even the worst part.”
In front of him is the array of helpless people who tried stopping him. One of which he swears he knows, he just can’t remember.
“The worst part, is not knowing if I’m remembering right what I don’t remember.” If over time, the things he’s told himself he’s been telling himself wrong and more wrong each time until he’s not even doing the right thing anymore. If over time, he’s deviated so far from the original intent that he’s failing or betraying the reason he’s done this.
He looks over the faces he can’t recognize and the one he swears he ought to. There’s various levels of screaming involved, but he hefts what is truly an imposing blade without any mind to the ‘no’s and the sobbing and the glare from that one. The weight is unfamiliar but weight in his hands is familiar. It almost feels right and—not remembering much most of the time—feels is all he has to work with most of the time.
So he hefts the blade and, with the force of someone so unsure but so sure, he plunges the whole of it into the solution he hopes he’s remembering right.
